Tomorrow I turn in my final portfolio for figure drawing (among many other things) and I thought it would be fun to show my progression just from the beginning to the end of this semester.

Beginning
 

Now


Beginning



Now



Beginning



Now




I still need to photograph my last portfolio but I hope to get everything posted on SheezyArt eventually.

After having a couple mental breakdowns I have concluded that I am not happy. I hate school... I hate my major.. I hate my classes.. I have no future plans. I barely got through Monday night. Then on Tuesday my scope and methods professor informed me I will be receiving an incomplete for the class. Meaning I must retake it within the next year. This means some things are changing...

1. I'm seeing my psychiatrist to mess with my meds. I obviously need them changed if I'm still falling apart at every little thing all the time. Plus, I'm just not happy usually and it's only going to get worse as Winter goes on.

2. I'm discarding the duel degree idea. I'm going to finish in two more semesters with a simple bachelor of arts in art history. I am taking 13 hours in Spring and 12 in Fall and that's it. So, my schedules will look like this:

Spring 2010

Monday                        French 2             12-1:20 PM

                                    Asian Art            7-9:45 PM

Tuesday                        Geology            5:30-8 PM

Wednesday                        French 2            12-1:20 PM

                                    Geology Lab            2-3:50 PM

Friday                                    French 2            12-1:20 PM

In Fall 2010 I will be taking a 400 level course in art history, scope and methods of art history, a philosophy course and french 3.

This means I am taking only classes required to finish my degree. I'm going to do art in my free time and hopefully find a job at the school so that they will work around my class schedule.

As for after... I asked my dad... and I gave it a lot of thought... I think I'd like to be a food critic. So, if I finish my bachelors degree and still want it my dad will pay to let me go to culinary school. This all depends on me finishing and still wanting it but I have a feeling I will. Food and Shawn are the only real passions I have in my life at this point. So, it makes sense that I would have them both in my future.


I am currently numb, depressed, exhausted, sick, hating school and I am going to Tulsa tomorrow when class lets out. I will finish my projects and papers. I will turn everything in and I will be done. Then I will drive to Bullhead City and hide in Shawns arms for 9 days and nights. I will go back to Tulsa... enjoy my Christmas vacation and go on with life as planned... Thats just how it's going to be.


Blessed Be

I'm not happy... so don't expect this entry to be a happy one. I am in fact depressed and stressed out at the same time.

I have so much work to do and no real energy to do it with. I spent this evening attempting to hold a conversation with Shawn which, ended with me telling him good night because he was exhausted and as depressed as me and we just weren't getting anywhere. It's been that way all weekend. Halloween was wonderful.. so of course everything had to collapse afterward.

But, the point is that it hasn't collapsed. A bad week isn't going to end what Shawn and I have. Being depressed.. or arguing.. or being too exhausted to say anything... none of it is even going to dent our relationship. It's like the one thing I do not have to worry about. The knowledge that if I changed my mind... if I called... he would be there. If tomorrow I fell apart.. he would be there. Because I believe him when he says thinks like "I promise" and "Forever" he made those terms mean something again for me.

We attempt to give plasma again tomorrow. JT will be able... it all depends on if I can get my pulse down this time on whether I will give or not. The important part is to work on my papers. My goal is to complete my philosophy paper by the 14th. The first draft is due the 19th but I want to be sure I'm ready and if I finish early I can work on my next paper. I'd actually rather be working on my scope and methods paper but that is not an option right now.

So the point is... I have a ton of work... I am depressed.... I am stressed out... and I have a very wonderful man who has my back. Shawn is my silver lining in this life... everyone needs one in order to make it through the hard times. For some it's art... for some it's a goal.. for me.. it's my best friend and the love of my life.

Hope all is well with everyone.

So, I have some paper topics now and I need to find some examples for my landscape class...

My ancient philosophy paper is based on a quote from Aristotle's "Poetics" in which he says that astonishment gives pleasure. I'm going to expand on this sentence for him and use his own examples of great tragedies combined with some psychology to prove this statement is true. My first draft is due before Thanksgiving Break.

I meet with my Scope and Methods of art history professor on Tuesday to discuss my major paper for that class. I've decided to continue my work with van Gogh and write about how his work changed based on where he was living at the time. He moved around a lot and I think I can write about the changes in his works especially the colors and lighting. I think she'll approve but I can't get started on it until we visit next weekend because all of my van Gogh books are in Tulsa. Bleh.

I'm doing my "Age of Reptiles" mural still for Landscape and it has been approved. I need to email someone at the Linda Hall library and get some information on it to write about it. Also for this class if anyone has any ideas I need...

1. Example of ecotourism that is people choosing to go into the environment for amusement over a movie or something for example national parks, visiting farms etc...

2. A contemporary artist dealing with environmental issues.

Figure drawing is going just fine.. I got an 85% on my 3rd portfolio. I continue to post my work on SheezyArt.Com

I'm having a hard time handling going this long without seeing Shawn and then knowing when we do visit in January that I will be going a long time again. Even though he can't give me a real answer I am going with the assumption that he will join us in KC this Summer when we get the next apartment.

JT and I are going to start searching in April. We'd like to get a town home apartment so there's more space and it's divided. We made a list of things we'd like and I'm keeping notes of apartments shown online that fit our criteria and price range. The plan is that Shawn and his room mate Jeremy will be joining us so we will need 3 bedrooms. We'd also like an extra space which most town homes have for our craft area. We keep accumulating crafts and currently we're doing a lot of sewing which takes a lot of space so we need the room to do that.

We did finish my Halloween costume and then we did a photo shoot at a local park. Here's one of the photographs and probably the one we will submit to the contest:



Way cute neh?

Now we need to finish hers... we're also working on a denim dress with this same design only a longer skirt
and I'm going to wear a t shirt underneath. I ordered some new one's so maybe we'll use one of those. They're from the same place I got my other ones. It's called Snorg Tee's They're amazing.

JT took her computer in today... three different parts are dead or dying so she needs to replace it. It would cost $100 more to replace it than it would to fix it and keep it going for an extra year. Bleh. She's currently transferring her data onto her desktop computer. She needs to work on her book... and fill out applications.. oh well.

Anywho... I have some school work to do and lots of cleaning... plus Shawn should get on tonight so yay for that... except the fact that we're both pretty depressed about everything right now. Oh well... as he would say.. it can't be helped.

Blessed be Everyone.

Last night I created my first recipe. I named it "Break Up-Make Up Cake" It's a combination of and lime batter and a strawberry batter. It's super moist from the juice and really pretty. Here's some photos..







And here's my taste testers.. The Cottontails (AKA My best friends)

Erin/Remy


Ashlee


And my bestest of best friends.. JT